Maybe it’s because I’m such a big reader that I feel more attuned to certain moments or feelings. Such as those moments when you’re reading a book where you can pinpoint when everything changed. I think life is made up of those moments. We might not recognize them, or maybe certain events required a series of certain moments to line up just right.
And I think I had one of those moments tonight.
Graduation is literally six months away. And I just feel that every decision I make between now and then is more charged, more potent. Like a silly choice of what kind of coffee I’ll order at a Starbucks might determine whether I’ll have the job of my dreams or bumming around my parents’ house.
And it’s not that I don’t have plans. I have many plans. Ideas are the same thing, right?
The future is quickly becoming number one on my ‘Most Discussed Topics’ list. However, it wasn’t until tonight that I was able to spell out what, in a perfect world, would make me happy.
I love swing dancing. (I know, shocker. But hear me out.) Nothing has given me so much before. It’s given me a community of people that I consider my second family; a passion that I have followed to a few corners of the world already; goals for my body and well being; and a direction where I feel I would otherwise have none.
Whatever I do with my life, it has to include swing dancing. And until tonight I’ve been afraid to say that. Because, how inane does that sound? Making life decisions based on a hobby.
Now here’s where I’d stop you. Swing dancing is so much more than a hobby to me. (I thought that would be clear after I gave four very important things that I have gained since starting to dance almost three years ago.) And aside from the obvious important things (family, friends, ability to provide for myself) it is easily one of the most important things in my life.
And so when my best friend comes to me and we both just spill our hopes and feelings and possibilities that we were maybe too afraid to admit to ourselves…
I’m not going to divulge details. But… for the first time in months I’m actually excited about possibilities.