Finally, guys have created something truly horrifying to counteract the dreaded “friend zone.”
I guess I should thank the person that posted this on Facebook, because I was having trouble thinking of topics to write about on my blog.
I am going to be blunt: this is internet poison. It is literally quantifying a woman’s (supposedly) two most important “qualities”: how “hot” she is and by how “not that crazy” she is. (Because according to the video, there’s no such thing as a sane woman.)
So forget about intelligent, kind, thoughtful, hard working, adventurous, interesting, funny, charismatic, happy, confident, or a good person. Personality? Pfft. Who wants that? If you can find your almost-unicorn, you better get down on one knee and propose because otherwise some other dude-bro is going to realize she fits his exact ratio of hot to crazy ratio.
Now, some of you might be poised over your keyboard, ready to start furiously typing “But this is CLEARLY joke! You’re NOT SUPPOSED to take this SERIOUSLY! #DUH” But you have to admit, if this is a joke, it’s not really coming off as tongue-in-cheek.
Plus, these guys aren’t even original. This is something that Barney Stinson on How I Met Your Mother has literally referenced, advising Ted on one of his dating exploits. And before you go “Fuck yeah, bro!”, I’d like to remind you that Barney Stinson is not meant to be a role model. In fact, his role at least for the first half of the show’s run, is cautionary about how not to treat women given that he succeeds less than half the time.
But I’m here to talk about the implications of videos like this, videos of what people “look for” in a woman, and how most of them focus on only how she physically looks and she makes them feel about themselves and their lives. There are men out there that really think like the men in the video. When they outline what they are looking for in a partner is mostly physical and anything else? Well, that’s not important.
And if the end goal was really to make fun of these expectations, they should be making fun of the society that expects these things from women, not the actual impossible standards imposed every day by media. Not to mention, you’re giving young boys and other men the expectation that a woman’s purpose in a relationship is to be pleasing to the him.
Someone made a “husband zone” graph, but that’s not what the response to this needs to be. People cannot be quantified between the x- and the y-axis. Videos like this, in jest or not, are insulting when they don’t address the overall problem of impossible standards set by society. Videos like this make it so important to engage thought into what we are viewing and interacting with on Facebook, on television, in every day life, what we’re being told and not just passively accept everything we’re handed. And not only to think but to challenge and teach and talk and keep talking because even though so many people think that this is tired and worn out and over done, it’s still obviously a problem.
It’s so important to realize what kind of impact things like advertising and media have on girls AND boys. And if you don’t fit into the boxes that they set out for you, then you get the impression that you are some how less than.